A few follow-up thoughts regarding idealism, fantasizing, perfectionism, high expectations, all confirmed by an issue of Life Magazine which was put into my library. On page one are some stylized sketches of “cover girls” with perfect proportions, etc. (not real people), and even a picture or two of a model followed by an article on the “real thing”, some unfortunate girls in San Francisco “on the make”, whose forlorn features evoke in a normal person only pity instead of desire or even contempt. How easy it is for us to confuse the two in our minds.
And, as I will address in another entry – which accounts for the break-up of marriages which are entered into primarily for physical reasons; they just don’t deliver up to expectations. No person (man or woman), including the models themselves, always looks like a model, or artist’s idealism, nor our fantasizing. So both partners to such a union (especially the male, with bigger imagination and less realism than our practical female counterparts) feel they got cheated, were sold a bill of goods, ripped off. And since imagination dies hard, we think all this happens to be true of the particular person we chose, and the next time round will prove different. But the grass on the other side of the fence has just as many weeds and dandelions as on this side. That’s life.
And what’s especially dismaying and disillusioning is when we don’t measure up to our own expectations (including sex in any aspect, especially our appearance); the unregenerate “animal” doesn’t much care; he or she tries to compensate by means of clothes or car (which are advertised in sex terms), but for the rest, any one of them can “perform” as well as the next guy. I can never get over the fact that the dumbest people and laziest, incapable and/or unwilling to do almost anything else, are still able to copulate. But that follows, or course, on the score that on the purely physical level – “love ’em and leave ’em” – any male animal is up to that.
The answer to male or female self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy lies in the discovery and conviction that the real “you” is Christ, the perfect, the all-capable, and the “you” regarding which you have misgivings and feelings of impotence (versus omnipotence, which we have in Christ – so says Philippians), is NOT you; it can be disowned, ignored, denied, repudiated. That’s a relief. Peace. Confidence. Exhilaration.