Marriage and Work

I have no illusions about any or all of these communications being anything new but, I got to thinking, a lot of our conversations as human beings consists really of restating what we well know.  Like “replaying” a ball game amongst ourselves.  As an aside, this would make an interesting subject.  I suppose we maximize a pleasurable experience by retelling it ourselves or hearing it retold.

Anyway, this you know, I’m sure, which is a thought that comes to me some mornings when I sense a reluctance to with which we go off to work, as every normal human being does sometimes, despite having Christ in him.  I think that very feeling is what prompts or helps propel a lot of young people into marriage, don’t you think, even though they themselves know that they will be continuing at the same job or one very much like it?

What they are unconsciously comparing to their feelings regarding work and family, with its familiarity, which comes from same root, is the fun and novelty, the pleasurableness of a date, which is a far cry from work, of course. So, we imagine that any activity with that particular person with whom we associate only positive and pleasurable thoughts for the most part, will be unrelievedly pleasurable, even if it means such drab things as mopping a floor, carrying out the garbage, or going to work.

Like fun!! Bad weather is bad weather, no matter with whom! If a car won’t start, or outgo exceeds income, that is even worse, somehow, to handle with a person with whom you usually have good and nice things than with someone that you have learned to sweat things out with.  Which is why so many impulsive newlyweds go tearing back to mother or off to another “flame”, with whom, of course, they had only nice times precisely because of not having married them.

Which is not to say that a person, then, should not marry and just maintain a relationship like that for diversion or fun, like some guys have had mistresses. That, of course, palls, because such relationships finds its fun by being a means to an end in itself, like eating candy when you are not hungry.  On the other hand, consummating a relationship like dating in a normal, measured fashion, resulting in a situation that, on the surface, seems only a duplicate of what he was in – going to work, etc. – does become pleasurable, at least gratifying and satisfying, as you “work” through life’s challenges and problems together, earning money for the fun things, etc.  to say nothing of making other people happy through your “unhappiness” such as repairing cars, providing materials with which to repair or remodel, even build a house.  This, you will find, is the source of the fullest fun.  Forgetting one’s own pleasure in favor of others’, you discover on your own.  Or, says C.S. Lewis, it catches you by surprise.


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